Anti-Photoshop Angst

I have been working on my portfolio for my photography. After all this time f'ing around with doodles and fingerprinting I am actually doing something productive for myself. This project is way over due and I have started on it before...

A little soul searching came to me as I was putting it together. My photography requires no photoshop. Sure I need some photoshop usage to get rid of model's unshaved pits or occasional jogger running in the background of my shot, but mostly I do everything upfront when I take the picture. This is how I was taught...some few years ago. I learned on shooting film. Film for movies and photography. You prepare for the shot, get the lighting right use filters think of composition, bracket, test, and just plain know (or feel) what the shot will look like instead of instantly viewing if the shot is good. I would then have to take the exposed film and process it. Then go to the darkroom, make a print and maybe spot a few minor imperfections but mostly it is ready to mount and display. This process has taught me the eye of photography and learn how to do it correctly. (also a storage area full of prints)

Soon after I graduated digital came about. Now I see "photographers" using auto mode on their camera and shooting 20 pictures of one thing, view it to see if they got something then take it straight to photoshop. There they can add filters, make the sky blue, adjust exposures, make it B&W or even use a vignette.

I have lost the heart for film/ photo taking because of this. It is mass-production and now a lost art form to me. I don't see the value of true talent as I did before. Maybe my photography was raw and gritty but it was real. It's been hard for me to deal with this. Losing your passion for what was once your whole life is heart breaking. It's borderline depressing really. I haven't wanted to shoot anything or do anything creative because I just don't have it in me anymore.

I am trying to "force" myself to pick up my digital camera and shoot things again. Just see what happens. I don't have a lot or any money for fancy equipment or effect packages and I hate that the person with the most high tech devices are considered better photographers. I need to look past that aspect of things though. I do have something, and that is my film making (story telling) background. If I can incorporate that into my photography I should be golden. Now I just need, models, locations, lights/studio and TIME. But I still feel I should get this done, at least, to see how I feel about it.
With all that said, I am trying to find something else with a tangible physical true to art format. I have been thinking of taking some metalsmith classes and get into sculpting. That would be amazing until they figure out a way to computerize that too.